All babies aren't cute

I have heard people say that there is no such thing as an "ugly baby"…………tssskkkk!!! Anyone that can say this with a straight face and mean it, has never been to my job on that bi-weekly holiday called "payday". It makes me mad to see these people bring their little Treasure Trolls to work and parade them around like they are actually adorable. You can't bring these little bald sweaty vampire bats up here during daylight hours. The thing that gets me though, is that no one will tell the parents the truth. They always want to hold the baby, and tell all these lies about how cute the kid is, and how many boys they are going to have to beat off with sticks. They fill these parents heads with false hope and set the kids up for failure. I on the other hand tell the truth about the kids. If they are ugly I say so. As always there is a method to my madness and this post is no different. The topic of ugly babies has a reason. Friday this chick brought her "child" to work and was taking "it" from person to person showing "it" off and got to me and asked "did I want to hold "it"?" I asked her "does "it" bite?" Now maybe I shouldn't have said it, but I did, and now people are saying that I am hateful. So what. Forget her and her ugly little creation. Now some of you are saying that I am wrong too, but you didn’t see the "child". He looked like a fully-grown ferret in the face. Are babies supposed to have shaving bumps? None that I have seen. The baby wasn't cute at all. You know the baby is ugly when you can only compliment it's clothes "Aww look, I didn't even know they made Jordan's that small" or comment on something else regarding the baby. "Look at how little his fingernails are." Some of you are about to send me an e-mail reminding me that I "shouldn't talk about other people's children being that I have yet to conceive rugrats myself", and I say to you, if by chance my kids look like albino sugargliders, I will simply leave them home. They would never see the public during daylight hours. Simple as that. What also kills me is these same people take their alleged "kids" to the photographer to get their pictures taken. No that, in and of itself is not the problem, I mean everyone wants to document their child's growth, that's cool. But what drives someone to get wallet sized pictures of their kids to pass out to people at work, or church, or even school. No one cares to have pictures of your kids. It's hood. It's bad taste. It's ghetto. The people that give pictures of their kids to other people that aren’t family are the same people that pin money to their shirts on their birthday. They're the same people that put batteries in the freezer thinking it recharges them for a little while. They're the same people that think if you open a portable CD player while the cd is playing, it scratches the disc. They're the same people that put old milk jugs full of water in their front yard saying that it "keeps the dogs out of their yard". They're the same people that think Epson Salt heals everything. They're the same people that…….well you get the point. Until I have time to give you more….